(34) With Love

What has helped me is the knowledge that when you do something with love will always be felt

After the death of my husband I have resumed my life by now. What has helped me is the knowledge that when you do something with love, it will always be felt. The story below tells how I have learned this.

Five weeks after the death of my husband I made an appointment with the doctor he consulted. I would like to talk about everything that had happened and also in a way as a closure of a period for myself. Going to the hospital was hard, there were after all so many horrible and sad memories…

When meeting the doctor he seemed just an old acquaintance, almost a friend, I almost had the impulse to hug him and yet I didn’t do this. This man who had been so important in our life. He who dealt with the life and death of my husband. All crucial decisions about medication, treatment, admissions, about the outcome of many MRI’s, have been decided by him.

But who was our doctor really? I didn’t realize before. Never asked about it and even never thought about that. Finally I got the opportunity to talk this over. About how we both had experienced this and what it meant for both of us, for him as the treating doctor and for me as a partner.

He very much appreciated that I had come to see him. It was an excellent, intense, honest and open conversation. It was the first time I had an eye and attention for the doctor and he for me. We concluded we were a good team, each from our own role and from a deep respect for each other. We have acted as best as we could with as ultimate purpose to maintain the quality of life. We did everything to stretch life and to keep it especially endurable.

The doctor advised me to resume my life again, how difficult that even would be. To start working again, being between people, to practice sport again and to do nice things again. When leaving he told me he had treated my husband with love.

Yes, with love and that’s what my husband and I also have felt. Sometimes words are not needed at all.

The doctor retired shortly after my visit. In the meantime I resumed my life again. What has helped me is the knowledge that when you do something with love will always be felt.

You would make my day when you respond to this post

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.