(90) A Decision… That Came Straight To The Point (Part 2)

The decisions I’ve taken during my life…
Have brought me where I am…
Have made me who I am…
Have made me see who I really am!

In my previous blog, I concluded with: “How is it possible that from a clearly stressful situation… discovering an aneurysm in my aorta with everything you can imagine… I’ve obtained internal peace… and arrived at a decision that should it be so in the future that an intervention is necessary… I can just leave the aneurysm for what it is! How do you arrive at such a decision? What steps have been taken? What did I do to get this far? ”

Answering that question is important to me. Because only then my blog will become much more than a description of what had happened to me.

With this contribution I don’t want to pretend that if you would use my approach in a comparable situation, you will achieve a similar result. The processing of grief is different for everyone and is certainly not a process that can be scheduled. With this contribution, however, I want to show you that no matter how dark and how long the tunnel is, eventually you’ll see light again at the end of the tunnel.

In the book “The Jeshua Channelings” by Pamela Kribbe it is stated that the light and the dark, perhaps you prefer to express this in terms of good and bad, are not intended to transform the dark into the light. No, it is the light and the dark, which are each other’s natural counterparts, that transform together to the golden light of the Christ-consciousness. Naive as I am, I assume that every belief system on Earth, albeit using different words, use a similar philosophy.

I personally experienced a transformation to the golden light in June 2016. After a period of consciously and unconsciously working on the processing of my grief and the loss of my deceased wife, I noticed that I’d made a huge U-turn. A U-turn that changed the raw pain of grief and bereavement into the soft pain of sadness. Moreover, I obtained new opportunities on my path-of-life and despite my grief I became a happy person again. In retrospect I can conclude that what I’d achieved then and as I feel today, I couldn’t have guessed in my wildest dreams!

The 90/10 rule exists in psychology, which means that the way we react to events has much more influence than the events themselves. Only 10% of our lives are determined by the things that happen to us. The other 90% is directly related to how we respond to that 10%. When confronted, our reaction determines how we move on in life. It all depends on ourselves.

In my opinion it boils down to the following:

  • Change the way you think. Look at it from the other side. Do not assume that something is not possible, but that it is possible. Restrict yourself to those things that are important; the remaining part usually doesn’t matter at all.
  • Do not postpone what you can do now. When you postpone the threshold you need to take to act becomes higher and higher; often postponement results in tomorrow never comes. And in order to prevent that others will make the decision for you with all possible counterproductive consequences for you, it is better to immediately prepare a decision yourself and to be ready when the moment is there.
  • Do realize that the more insight and knowledge you have into the problem, the better you understand the possible approaches for a solution, the more you will relax and obtain harmony in your head. Uncertainty is “killing!” In other words, the sooner and the faster you assess your options and obtain your answers, the sooner you can relax and will get stillness in your head.

The effect of the above was that immediately after the consult with the surgeon I started in a familiar, systematic and structured way to assess what the consequences could be for my body when an intervention should be required for correcting the aneurysm in my aorta. At the same time, I needed to find out what the risks could be during the operation and what I should decide and arrange prior to the procedure. And more important to me, I needed to find out what the consequences would be for me when such a risk occurred after or long after the operation… and how I would respond to that. And last but certainly not least, what would be the consequences for me and my dear ones when I would decide for the option to do nothing at all.

It all seems so simple, but it certainly is not. While thinking about the (possible) options and the consequences of those options, emotions will release themselves. Your emotions… and those of your dear ones. And precisely those emotions will determine the content of your plans and your decisions… at least that was the case with me.

Then I moved the plans and the results of those plans to my subconscious so that these would be out of the picture for a while. Perhaps I’m privileged because I’ve learned to solve complex problems this way early in my life. I am convinced that your unconsciousness is somehow connected with the universal knowledge within the spiritual world. At some point in time, but always unexpectedly, I received the message that I may come Home soon and that I also can learn the lessons and to complete the tasks for which I’m here as a human being on Earth.

That I’m allowed to come home soon does not mean that I will soon die. On the contrary, I’m enjoying life right now. But I do long to Home… that place where real and genuine Love exists. In a Dutch book “De emotie encyclopedie” (which translates as: “The Emotion Encyclopedia) with as subtitle “gevoelens als navigatiesysteem naar een gelukkig leven” (which translates as: “feelings as a navigation system to a happy life”) writes Vera Helleman that homesickness to Home tells you that you not only long for your home in the spiritual world, but also that your own space is important to you. In fact, it is important that whenever and wherever you are, you can be yourself.

Early in my life I learned that when I made a decision which did not feel right or good, the decision had to be revised! And to avoid that your decisions would be made or forced by others, it is better to prepare decisions immediately and to be ready as soon as the right moment is there.

Yes, I really do know and understand… preparing the plans and the final decision to make may not sound complicated at all… but the emotions that arise during the preparation of those plans make it difficult… and sometimes make it very hard. However, I realize all too well that uncertainty is “killing!” For that reason alone, the fact that I know what I will decide when the moment is there, gives me inner peace and self-confidence.

Once a decision is made by me, I accept the consequences of that decision and… I never look back at how I could have decided differently. Once a decision is made, my reality has changed, and I can never go back in time where afterwards I might have preferred a different decision.

The decisions I’ve taken during my life…
Have brought me where I am…
Have made me who I am…
Have made me see who I really am!

When you end-up in a similar situation then I sincerely do hope that this blog, in the case it was not able help you, at least gave you an idea how you could prepare for your choice or your decision.

Author: Hans Fransen

Mourn & Grief Foundation

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