(97) How Easy Can It Be

Lately it seems like I am meeting more and more Angels on Earth. Angels that show you… how simple it all can be… is granted to be… is. How beautiful the world is… how beautiful you, yourself, are… and… the people around you. How with a few words your world can tip… from rain to sunshine… from gloom to joy… from in and in grief to moments where you can forget that grief. How with simple insights… veils are removed one by one… making everything crystal clear… lighter… serene… happier… and you can in and in enjoy life again.

Those moments I consider the diamonds in my life.

My sincerest thanks to all the Angels around me… I love you!

(96) A Special Encounter

Bringing out the feminine in the masculine to make the World more beautiful for all those Wonderful Souls who really want to be born, who really want to be carried in the tangible part, because the unborn Wonderful Souls are there too, are with us and will hold us, support us and carry us forever.

On Saturday, May 26th, I met a special man came to my table to receive “a Whispering from your Soul – a gift to yourself” thru automatic script. In this session a lot of words have been said, heard, written down, but also a number that remained untouched, but were picked up by the energy during that special moment and could be reflected through this letter.

We briefly talked about what was happening with you because of what sadly happened with your daughter. How special and how beautiful that process started to flow for you through her, that you have experienced this and still do, and that you may share this with others trough your blog and the writing of a book.

The whole circle was completed when we talked about unborn souls and the unwritten emotions connected to those, the incredible sadness, but also the Power and Love that is needed to experience it, to accept it and to share it in unconditional love. The acknowledgement, the recognition. The process of in Love creating a beautiful little Soul, the will to form and eventually not allowed to be born unfortunately on Mother Earth because Fate would have it so, as many would say.

However, this Wonderful Little Soul hasn’t been carried by you in vain, it has felt secure and free to be allowed to nestle, however, this moment was sufficient to continue to grow to another moment and perhaps then to actually be born.

The simplicity, the serenity, the authenticity, the will and the power are in this Little Soul that wants to entrust you with this experience to be carried, because that is ultimately the purpose. Te be carried, literally in the Heart, in the Soul of all those involved so that all can live in the way they desire and want.

Mourning in this is very important, celebrating life on the hand is also very important, which is different for everyone and very personal.

The fact that there is recognition of this wonderful Little Soul, will bring all those involved closer to themselves, and receive the Little Soul as it is meant to be.

The Little Soul is touched by the unconditional Love from the Source of Love and, you will carry this touch forever in your Heart, in your Soul, experienced as a gift despite the sadness and the pain, this recognition will ultimately be the answer to be allowed to continue on everyone’s Path of Soul.

This process is very difficult to put into words and the emotions vary with us, but what is universal is the unconditional Love, the recognition that this beautiful Little Soul was there and still is but in a different form. Communication is very crucial in this because one person will be able to speak about it, the other does not.

The question is, what do you need to be able to proceed.

You could write a letter of gratitude to yourself, to your partner, but also to this beautiful Little Soul. A letter in which you may express yourself in your own way, or without words, you receive something tangible in this process on your path-of-life on Mother Earth.

You may be carried, you may be heard, you may be seen, you may Be as you please.

The wonderful Little Soul will continue her or his Journey of Souls with the mission that she or he must accomplish to proceed but can do so thanks to you.

Special is the fact that this experience will always feed you in Love, will feed you in unconditional love, in security, in unity, in everything you feel, when it’s just a bit difficult, if you just have doubts about everything, if you just have no energy to be positive about this, you are allowed to go to this place, which is only yours and of your wonderful Little Soul, to feel the connection of pure love, the pure Being, the sheer sense of unity.

The Love you then can experience is presented to you by this Beautiful Little Soul, because there’s always a connection with you, during every thought, every step, with everything that happens in your life, she or he will be there with you.

This is the celebration of her or his presence through which the energy will change, the energy will be a gift to you and to Mother Earth, while this is needed to bring about the transformation where Love, Oneness and Purity are the words that will serve as the basis for humanity.

Humanity is ready for Love, to live with unity and purity from your Heart and Soul, to work and to act to build together where all our beautiful Little Souls will be seen as messengers and as touches we can bestow to ourselves, to our Hearts and to our Souls to experience brotherhood, bond and peace together.

Bringing out the feminine in the masculine to make the World more beautiful for all those Wonderful Souls who really want to be born, who really want to be carried in the tangible part, because the unborn Wonderful Souls are there too, are with us and will hold us, support us and carry us forever.

A very beautiful day and let the Soul be the answer to all our questions, our pains, our sorrows, our joy, our disappointments, our moments together and apart from each other.

Let your Soul be in the simplicity, in the encounter with that other.
Let your Soul Dance in the simplicity, in the encounter with that other.
Show your Soul in the simplicity, in the encounter with that other.
Let your Soul Feel in the simplicity, in the encounter with that other.
Let your Soul Experience in the simplicity, in the encounter with that other.

Let this wonderful Little Soul Be, Dance, See, Feel and Experience to carry, be carried, be carried in this bereavement – that the tears of sadness may become Pearls in Love as an imaginary Pearl Necklace that you always have.

A beautiful day and lots of Love in all your work and all your beautiful words you can wear, carry and carry through by and for your beautiful special daughter.

(95) A Chance Encounter

When you pay close attention to the world around you… then you regularly come across special things to enjoy… then you meet people with whom you have special conversations. The more you are aware of this… the more beautiful life becomes… the happier you become… despite that great loss, or the dear one(s) you have lost.

We met somewhere by chance at an airport, waiting until we were called to board the plane that would take us to our destination. She went to Italy… a week to a painting course in Florence and then a week to Venice and Rome. I was on my way home.

The encounter had something magical. We both had the feeling that we knew each other for a very long time. But, that just wasn’t possible. She had grown up somewhere in Central America, and I somewhere in North-West Europe. During the conversation we found out that she had lost her husband and her son… and… I had lost my daughter and my wife. She had another daughter and I had another son. It seemed as if we were two halves of a whole. We recognized each other’s grief with which we struggled… we understood each other completely. Perhaps that’s why we felt we had known each other for a very long time.

Our conversation took less than an hour, but it felt so much longer. It seemed like we had to meet each other… we had to meet each other to make us aware that although you have a lot of grief because of your loss… that you’re not the only one.

When she walked to the plane that would bring her to Italy it seemed… as if she was dancing… as if she was relieved… as if she had become aware that she was not the only one who had lost precious mates. With me it seemed like a veil was being pulled away… making everything a bit brighter… happier… lighter.

It was just a short encounter, by happenstance. But still… by the peace and the joy it gave… afterwards… both to her and to me… you would (almost) think that this encounter was set up by a higher power. And just those little moments… those little moments that can stand in stark contrast to the life of all day… those little moments are for me the moments that make it worthwhile to take everything out of life what’s in for me.

When you pay close attention to the world around you… then you regularly come across special things to enjoy… then you meet people with whom you have special conversations. The more you are aware of this… the more beautiful life becomes… the happier you become… despite that great loss, or the dear one(s) you have lost.

(94) It’s Time to Change Course

What I have learned in the recent years while writing these blogs for the Mourn & Grief Foundation is … that at the beginning of my journey on the path of mourning I absolutely could not see and could not realize what it would take and what I would experience… a journey with moments in which I no longer knew what I should to do in order to get back on track in my life… moments in which I would rather prefer to die and to go Home, to be able to see my great love again and to hold her in my arms again… and yet … and yet, during those same moments there was always something that, or someone who motivated or, stimulated me in some way to go on… and moments when I really could not go any further in my life and everything seemed against me, my guardian angels made me feel that if I asked them for help, I would receive help in some way.

In retrospect, when I looked back during those years so now and then, I was always amazed what I had achieved in the meantime. I never noticed that during the day-to-day affairs. However, when looking back over a period of several months I could clearly see this. It provided me also with the extra strength to continue my life’s path.

In retrospect, I should’ve asked for help with processing my grief sooner than later. Apparently, it must have been the case not to do so, because the path of life on which I find myself now feels very good to me. It is what it is!

It’s time to change course because the processing of grief means to go on in life. Usually going on means to go on in a different way than you used to do so before. To go on with those things that are important to you in your life. Despite that huge loss. Despite that raw pain. To go on with your life… you must!

Realize that the closer you were to the dear one you’ve lost and, realize that the more you have loved her or him, the rawer and the deeper your grief of the loss will be. On the one hand that hurts you a lot and the other hand it is a huge compliment to the dear one you’ve lost and… it also is an indication how deep the love to each other was… or… still is.

But by going on, on your life’s path you also set your first steps in processing your grief. By going on you also begin to look ahead again, although you may or may not realize your destination yet. Hence, yes, it’s time to change course.

Yes, for me too it’s time to change course. Somehow, I feel I’ve fulfilled my daughter’s last wish I promised to carry out. Lately, it became more like a personal need to do this kind of work

As for the Foundation’s website it is also time to change course. A plan is being developed to add a discussion forum to the website for you to use later this year. It is obvious that the forum will be placed in a secure environment. I would like to receive any suggestion you have for the structure or content of the forum. You can contact me via this link.

(92) A Broken Heart

What if we would have been able to process our grief, under guidance or supervision… would my soulmate then still be alive? A question I probably will never get answers to.

On a warm afternoon in October 1978, our daughter Anne Birgit was born in a hospital. We rejoiced that our long expected first child was born.

Our happiness was short lived however. That same evening the surgeon contacted me and asked if I could come over to the hospital immediately. The meconium, the first excrement of a newborn child, was stuck and there was also a first indication that our daughter might have Cystic Fibrosis. Mary-Anne, my partner, wasn’t informed yet and the surgeon asked us if the three of us could discuss the various options… and then decide how we would proceed from there. Time was of the essence. There you are, being parents for the first time of your life… thrown into the deep.

That same evening, our newborn daughter, hardly 8 hours old, had her first operation in her life.

It was also the first time in my life that my world was completely destroyed. Even today, over 40 years after Anne Birgit’s birth, I can still see the images with my mind’s eye how a beautiful future was shattered in one blow! Not only mine world was shattered, Mary-Anne’s too. I can still see the fear in her eyes… I can still hear her crying from the depth of her soul… searching for words. That evening changed both of us forever.

While our daughter was being operated we took an impulsive oath to each other… that, whatever would happen during our lives… we would always stay together and face whatever was thrown to us in the future… we would always be there for each other. At that moment it felt it was important so that a higher power would allow Anne Birgit to live. One way or the other, that oath to each other gave us peacefulness… gave us an unfamiliar energy… no… power to continue. That power was really needed because at that time we hardly couldn’t imagine what was in store for us… how we later had to struggle in guiding our daughter… and that we would get the privilege to bring Anne Birgit to the Light.

Not many people can imagine what we had to live through those 21 years during the life of our daughter. How high the stress levels were and how lonely we were. Anne Birgit became a beautiful young woman who knew very early in her life that she had not many years to live.  Early in her life she made conscious choices and, she tried to get everything out of her life that was humanly possible. Buy because she would have a short life and because she was good looking… at the outside… we met frequently people who couldn’t or didn’t want to accept her illness. It didn’t make sense in our eyes, but we had to deal with it one way or the other. As if our daughter’s illness wasn’t bad enough, the misunderstanding from others did a great job on top of it.

Looking back, that oath we took to each other during the operation of our 8 hours old daughter… that oath kept us together during our 35 years of marriage. Just now, I realize that the energy and the power we received stands for True Love. It guided us through our darkest and lightest periods of our relation. What I also realize is that from all the problems we had to solve, I’ve learned that whatever happens in your life… and it doesn’t even matter how bad it is… you always get support somehow from the spiritual world… eventually, you always get your feet firmly on the ground. It doesn’t happen by itself though… you have to work very hard to make it happen… and you’ve to devote over 100% of your effort all the time… always!

Life was for Anne Birgit one long rollercoaster ride. Just as unusual life was for her… just as unusual was the period around her death for us… and just as unusual was our bereavement… that is, how it felt for me.

It is said that parents who lose a child are marked for life. That’s true for Mary-Anne and myself, nonetheless different. Isn’t it often said that the loss of a child is not even something you whish to have for your worst enemy? Yes, we agreed with that too… but… on the other hand, the stress levels we had to deal with during the life of our daughter… the angst and the worry that was always there… after her death… that angst and worry… was gone! We didn’t have to survive anymore. Our house became hushed… very silent! And step by step… we got rest in our system… and at the same time… the realization sunk in that our daughter wasn’t there anymore.

With that rest also came unrest again… but this time from a completely different order… the unease to cope with our loss and grief somehow. During Anne Birgit’s life we always had hidden our pain and grief. We had hidden it so deep that we were unable to find and touch it after her death. We understood we had to do something about it… but what, and how… and whom to approach? The family was there too and began to demand attention with as result that nothing came of our mourning… and again… we deeply buried our grief. Yes, burying our grief, we were very good at that… unfortunately.

Slowly but surely our grief began to seep through the cracks from the deepest of our being. And in the period that followed we often went through emotionally deep valleys… and at the same time also over emotionally high peaks because we were together and although we had a deceased daughter we have a healthy son. Too bizarre for words… at the same time to go through emotionally deep valleys and over emotionally high peaks. The result was that our family and the people around us couldn’t see… or didn’t understand… that we went through severe times… so severe that in the end something broke. Mary-Anne, my partner and soulmate, died in 2011 of a broken heart.

Was it so intended or… what if we would have been able to process our grief, under guidance or supervision… would my soulmate then still be alive? A question I’ll probably never get an answer to.