(45) What If…

The first time I met my wife was on the tennis court. I can still remember the moment she came walking up to me together with her friend, two gorgeous women. We clicked with each other, we got engaged, we got married, had children and she died in 2011. A few months ago I happen to meet her friend, we hadn’t seen each other for years. After the meeting I started wondering ‘what if… I had chosen for the friend at the time? How would have been the story of my life.

I have never been aware of my father, he died when I was 3 years. According to my grandmother my dad always wanted to start a garage in Switzerland. What if… my father would still live? My life would have been quite different. The question is whether I would have met my wife and or the Mourn & Grief Foundation would have been established.

I have learned that it makes no point to think about what could have happened. You can’t change it anymore. What in my point of view does make sense is to think about the decisions you have made on your path. Decisions that brought you to the point where you are standing now, they are important because they made you the person you are today.

Even more important in my point of view, are the lesson that you can draw form the decisions you used to make. Applying those lessons will give you the opportunity to take better decisions in the future. However, that doesn’t guarantee you will stop wondering in the future ‘what if…’

Author: Hans Fransen

Founder of the Mourn & Grief Foundation

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