(62) Your Inner Compass

A lot happens in our life, quite a lot. Regularly you may feel that you should make choices and sometimes you don’t make these (yet). Usually these lessons lead to change and feel as a leap of faith. But how do you do it?

kompas - shutterstock_45817903A lot happens in our life, quite a lot. Regularly you feel that you should make choices and occasionally you don’t (yet) while you actually should. From time to time you also feel that you should learn lessons in this life that are important to you. Lessons that are now and again at odds with what you would like.

Usually these lessons lead to a change which feel as a leap of faith. But in order to progress you intuitively feel that you should take that other road on your path-of-life.

In order to grasp your path-of-life a description of your life can help. It’s not about a biography of maybe thousands of pages. No, it’s about the account of the experiences and lessons you may have learned from those moments in your life that were or are important to you. Those moments that were decisive for the “choices” on your path-of-life.

To name but a few: your first great love, the birth of your child, the loss of a beloved, to complete an education, the bankruptcy of your employer, the ending of a relationship, a severe illness. Such moments in my life I call decision points or turning points.

  • Decision points… because when you make a decision (deliberately) you are also answerable for the consequences of that decision.
  • Turing points… because you have no influence on the decision and you have to live with the consequences of that decisions.

Obtaining my Master’s Degree is a decision point for me and the death of my daughter and my wife are turning points in my life. Changes as a result of decision points and turning points not only give rise to emotions as hope, bereavement, grief or loss but also in particularly to new insights,

A personal example.

After my openheart-surgaries [see: Listen to your heart] my life was quite changed. These operations, or more accurately the consequences of these operations, have changed my life considerably.

I’m mostly focusing on feelings now, my emotions, and with completely new things for me. In particularly I’m mainly people oriented while I used to be work oriented (processes, products and projects). The work was stimulating though with weeks of up to 60 to 80 hours and how odd it may sound, the work gave me energy, a lot of energy. That work has no longer my interest while now I largely want to know a lot about human behavior.

For me this means a massive change. That I can’t no longer execute my earlier work gives me a lot of grief on the one hand, but on the other hand the new interest gives me much hope for the future. It’s also a change I didn’t made knowingly, but I’m convinced that this is the path-of-life I should follow. That new path is very exciting to me and I have no real idea what will happen in the future. But I accept the challenge with all my heart.

Retrospectively you could state that my openheart-surgaries represent a turning point in my life.

Talking about my heart, I consider myself not a heart patient. It feels to me… now… 4 months after the last openheart-surgary, as if I’m bursting with energy. Can handle anything again. At the same time there is also a danger to that. Those operations were the result of the way I’ve lived; the lesson I’ve drawn from this is that I should deal better with this in the future. What I have also been able to learn from life so far is that it is important to align over and over again on my inner compass.

Author: Hans Fransen

Founder of the Mourn & Grief Foundation

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