(98) Letting Go

Letting go. Have confidence in yourself, believe and trust that nothing is for nothing… sometimes the difficult things in our life make the choice to look at ourselves. It’ll be fine.

Ask for help, to restore yourself. Everything is a choice… the choice is what you decide… you, and only you, allow that choice… or not.

Letting go is very hard and challenging… but nobody else can solve that part for you. Hence, it is better to face this as soon as possible… to create new room for new things… positive things.

The old energy… the fear… the care… the must do’s… the criticising … the judging… the imposed feeling of yourself or the other… the emotions… the believes… all that’s now allowed to let go… all, that you can let go.

Be thankful and see this as a blessing… as an enrichment to proceed… to embrace yourself again… to love yourself. That’s the key that opens the new door… but, be watchful.

Be yourself… be happy with yourself… laugh at yourself and with yourself… award yourself that which you grant to another… to really feel the new energy… the new energy, when you do realize: “This is not the way I want to go on!”

However, you must take this step, and only you can do that with all your new energy… with all your passion… all your Being… to really experience it… to really feel it, and permitted to share it.

It’s very simple.

Invite the new energy and say farewell to the old energy… thank the old energy and embrace the new one as if you hug a good friend.

You could do it… and you will feel relieved because you do not hold anymore the fear, the care, and the must do… the new energy that makes you feel again in a way as you are.

Sometimes, it’s not clear why things happen… are noticeably profound… for no reason. But, when we look deep within ourselves… then we see, or feel, that little place where you do not always want to go to… to really feel… because you assume: “Surely that’s no longer possible?”

It’s going well, however, you forgot what you saved in all your cells… in your deepest Being… in your Soul… because you had to go on… no whining, no squealing, just moving on. And just right now when everything goes fine… you don’t feel good… tired… not pleasant.

Letting go the piece that has hurt you so much, has disappointed you so much… is now surfacing… because you have the peace… have the (inner) silence… have the time… to really feel it now.

Feel, undergo and look where it hurts you. Look where it reveals itself when you look honestly through the eyes of your Soul, from the eyes you not always want to see and feel on that spot… that hidden spot… just very briefly, 5 minutes, that’s ok… and then just let it golet it go and see what happens.

It’ll be fine! Have confidence in yourself, believe and trust that nothing is for nothing… sometimes the difficult things in our life make the choice to look at ourselves… a crossroads with a choice… your choice, where do I want to go to.

Go there with your thoughts and live and enjoy this moment in the now. Especially, do not worry about tomorrow… no, there is so much beauty… so much good around you and within you.

Embrace your family, your work, your relatives, your friends, your house, your car … name it … and … beam it, express it!

(95) A Chance Encounter

When you pay close attention to the world around you… you regularly come across special things to enjoy… you meet people with whom you have special conversations. The more you are aware of this… the more beautiful life becomes… the happier you become… despite that great loss, or the dear one(s) you have lost.

We met somewhere by chance at an airport, waiting for the call to board the plane that would take us to our destinations. She went to Italy… a week to a painting course in Florence and then a week to Venice and Rome. I was on my way home.

The encounter had something magical. We both had the feeling that we knew each other for a very long time. But, that just wasn’t possible. She had grown up somewhere in Central America, and I somewhere in North-West Europe. During the conversation we found out that she had lost her husband and her son… and… I had lost my daughter and my wife. She had another daughter and I had another son. It seemed as if we were two halves of a whole. We recognized each other’s grief with which we struggled… we understood each other completely. Perhaps that’s why we felt we had known each other for a very long time.

Our conversation took less than an hour, but it felt so much longer. It seemed like we had to meet each other… we had to meet each other to make us aware that although you have a lot of grief because of your loss… that you’re not the only one.

When she walked to the plane that would bring her to Italy it seemed… as if she was dancing… as if she was relieved… as if she had become aware that she was not the only one who had lost precious mates. In my case it seemed a veil was being pulled away… making everything a bit brighter… happier… lighter.

(c) Stichting Jouw Rouwverwerking
Beauty is in the unexpected

It was just a short encounter, by happenstance. But still… by the peace and the joy it gave… afterwards… both to her and to me… you would (almost) think that this encounter was set up by a higher power. And just those little moments… those little moments that can stand in stark contrast to the life of all day… those little moments are for me the moments that make it worthwhile to take everything out of life what’s in for me.

When you pay close attention to the world around you… then you regularly come across special things to enjoy… then you meet people with whom you have special conversations. The more you are aware of this… the more beautiful life becomes… the happier you become… despite that great loss, or the dear one(s) you have lost.

(90) A Decision… That Came Straight To The Point (Part 2)

The decisions I’ve taken during my life…
Have brought me where I am…
Have made me who I am…
Have made me see who I really am!

In my previous blog, I concluded with: “How is it possible that from a clearly stressful situation… discovering an aneurysm in my aorta with everything you can imagine… I’ve obtained internal peace… and arrived at a decision that should it be so in the future that an intervention is necessary… I can just leave the aneurysm for what it is! How do you arrive at such a decision? What steps have been taken? What did I do to get this far? ”

Answering that question is important to me. Because only then my blog will become much more than a description of what had happened to me.

With this contribution I don’t want to pretend that if you would use my approach in a comparable situation, you will achieve a similar result. The processing of grief is different for everyone and is certainly not a process that can be scheduled. With this contribution, however, I want to show you that no matter how dark and how long the tunnel is, eventually you’ll see light again at the end of the tunnel.

In the book “The Jeshua Channelings” by Pamela Kribbe it is stated that the light and the dark, perhaps you prefer to express this in terms of good and bad, are not intended to transform the dark into the light. No, it is the light and the dark, which are each other’s natural counterparts, that transform together to the golden light of the Christ-consciousness. Naive as I am, I assume that every belief system on Earth, albeit using different words, use a similar philosophy.

I personally experienced a transformation to the golden light in June 2016. After a period of consciously and unconsciously working on the processing of my grief and the loss of my deceased wife, I noticed that I’d made a huge U-turn. A U-turn that changed the raw pain of grief and bereavement into the soft pain of sadness. Moreover, I obtained new opportunities on my path-of-life and despite my grief I became a happy person again. In retrospect I can conclude that what I’d achieved then and as I feel today, I couldn’t have guessed in my wildest dreams!

The 90/10 rule exists in psychology, which means that the way we react to events has much more influence than the events themselves. Only 10% of our lives are determined by the things that happen to us. The other 90% is directly related to how we respond to that 10%. When confronted, our reaction determines how we move on in life. It all depends on ourselves.

In my opinion it boils down to the following:

  • Change the way you think. Look at it from the other side. Do not assume that something is not possible, but that it is possible. Restrict yourself to those things that are important; the remaining part usually doesn’t matter at all.
  • Do not postpone what you can do now. When you postpone the threshold you need to take to act becomes higher and higher; often postponement results in tomorrow never comes. And in order to prevent that others will make the decision for you with all possible counterproductive consequences for you, it is better to immediately prepare a decision yourself and to be ready when the moment is there.
  • Do realize that the more insight and knowledge you have into the problem, the better you understand the possible approaches for a solution, the more you will relax and obtain harmony in your head. Uncertainty is “killing!” In other words, the sooner and the faster you assess your options and obtain your answers, the sooner you can relax and will get stillness in your head.

The effect of the above was that immediately after the consult with the surgeon I started in a familiar, systematic and structured way to assess what the consequences could be for my body when an intervention should be required for correcting the aneurysm in my aorta. At the same time, I needed to find out what the risks could be during the operation and what I should decide and arrange prior to the procedure. And more important to me, I needed to find out what the consequences would be for me when such a risk occurred after or long after the operation… and how I would respond to that. And last but certainly not least, what would be the consequences for me and my dear ones when I would decide for the option to do nothing at all.

It all seems so simple, but it certainly is not. While thinking about the (possible) options and the consequences of those options, emotions will release themselves. Your emotions… and those of your dear ones. And precisely those emotions will determine the content of your plans and your decisions… at least that was the case with me.

Then I moved the plans and the results of those plans to my subconscious so that these would be out of the picture for a while. Perhaps I’m privileged because I’ve learned to solve complex problems this way early in my life. I am convinced that your unconsciousness is somehow connected with the universal knowledge within the spiritual world. At some point in time, but always unexpectedly, I received the message that I may come Home soon and that I also can learn the lessons and to complete the tasks for which I’m here as a human being on Earth.

That I’m allowed to come home soon does not mean that I will soon die. On the contrary, I’m enjoying life right now. But I do long to Home… that place where real and genuine Love exists. In a Dutch book “De emotie encyclopedie” (which translates as: “The Emotion Encyclopedia) with as subtitle “gevoelens als navigatiesysteem naar een gelukkig leven” (which translates as: “feelings as a navigation system to a happy life”) writes Vera Helleman that homesickness to Home tells you that you not only long for your home in the spiritual world, but also that your own space is important to you. In fact, it is important that whenever and wherever you are, you can be yourself.

Early in my life I learned that when I made a decision which did not feel right or good, the decision had to be revised! And to avoid that your decisions would be made or forced by others, it is better to prepare decisions immediately and to be ready as soon as the right moment is there.

Yes, I really do know and understand… preparing the plans and the final decision to make may not sound complicated at all… but the emotions that arise during the preparation of those plans make it difficult… and sometimes make it very hard. However, I realize all too well that uncertainty is “killing!” For that reason alone, the fact that I know what I will decide when the moment is there, gives me inner peace and self-confidence.

Once a decision is made by me, I accept the consequences of that decision and… I never look back at how I could have decided differently. Once a decision is made, my reality has changed, and I can never go back in time where afterwards I might have preferred a different decision.

The decisions I’ve taken during my life…
Have brought me where I am…
Have made me who I am…
Have made me see who I really am!

When you end-up in a similar situation then I sincerely do hope that this blog, in the case it was not able help you, at least gave you an idea how you could prepare for your choice or your decision.

(89) A Decision… That Came Straight to The Point (Part 1)

A while ago I wrote several blogs about choices and making choices. Shortly afterwards an aneurysm that was sitting in my aorta was discovered. And again, I was facing some probing questions on my path-of-life. As if it had to happen like that!

For every option of the decision I’ve to make, this time I would love to know everything. Everything that awaits me, including all its details and consequences. At the same time, I realize that’s not going to happen… it’s just not possible. An unknown part will always have an impact one way or the other. An unknown part that might turn out to be very important afterwards.

On the other hand, I made many decisions based on total uncertainty. Decisions, that afterwards turned out to be the correct ones. Then, why shouldn’t I take such a decision from the very beginning? In addition to the choices or decisions I had to make… to say it in extreme words… were not about life and death. This time it is about life and death! And this time it’s also about me! Even more reason to thoroughly consider a decision before the consequences are making themselves felt.

A few months later after several tests had been carried out, the specialist’s advice was crystal clear to me. My aneurysm hadn’t grown, and the specialist clearly showed that he was happy with the outcome. While taking everything into consideration he also advised that should an intervention be needed in the future there was a serious chance that I would lose the functionality of my left arm and may even get a paraplegia. To end up in a wheel chair and possibly losing the function of my left arm is not an option for me and not something I’m waiting for.

At that moment I had arrived at a point where I couldn’t go any further with my reasoning. It became clear to that I needed to play by my hunch. What are my needs and what does that mean for me. It was time for real thinking… well, ‘thinking’… about what I’m going to decide should an intervention be required.

When solving complex problems for which I didn’t have an answer immediately, it was always customary for me to bring the puzzle to background of my mind, the unconscious part of my memory, so that I wasn’t confronted with it daily. Also, this time I brought the puzzle to the background of my mind in full confidence that an answer would be found at some point. And, in my mind it became quiet again.

During a yoga-session, some months later, a message came to me suddenly in my mind. A message that came straight to the point. The message was that I am allowed to come Home soon and that I could learn the lessons and to complete the tasks for which I was here on Earth as a human.

What makes that I’m allowed to come Home soon and that I’m allowed to learn the lessons and complete the tasks for which I’m here as a human on Earth? Doesn’t one option rule out the other… or… does it?

Of course, I would like to go Home soon. Going Home, that is the place where all souls or spirits are. Not only because my two deceased buddies are there, but because I’m homesick. Home, the place where True Love reigns! And yes, at the same time I hope that I can learn the lessons and complete the tasks for which I’m here as a human being on Earth. I’m here for a good reason and those lessons and tasks are important. Which lessons and tasks I don’t know, but deep down I feel an urge to learn these lessons and to complete the tasks. It is what it is. Every thought of doubt and fear disappeared, and at the same time it gave me the assurance that whatever happens, it is meant, and it will be all right.

Together with the message I became aware that in case an intervention is required, I can leave the aneurysm in my aorta for what it is. In the meantime I should get everything out of life that is humanly possible for me. But, wait… I’ve already been telling and writing that for long time. So… do I still not get everything out of life?

For some reason the choice for leaving the aneurysm for what it is, gives rest in my head. For me that’s the indication that the choice that was made was correct. I’ve learned at an early stage that when a choice made doesn’t give rest in my head… then it’s not the right choice.

However, an answer to a for me personally important question remains: ‘how is it possible that I initially came from a clearly stressful situation… to a choice that gives peace in my mind?’ What steps have I taken? What have I done to get this far?

I will continue with answering this question in part 2 of this blog.

(88) How Do You Proceed When All Seems to Collapse (Part 2)

If I dare to live with complete surrender to everything that comes my way, then I really live, and that’s what I’m learning now

To read part 1 of this blog click here.

I had finally made my choice. I surrendered myself to the expertise and knowledge of the present day regular medicine. Now was the moment for my breast mastectomy. I always used to say that I would never choose an internal prosthesis. But now, I really had to make a choice. I wondered if I was really prepared to live with a flat chest for the rest of my life. Due to the surgical removal of my armpit glands in 2007, I knew what it was like to feel your hard ribs directly beneath your skin without the normal layer of fat in between. Because of my job I also knew how a body looked like after a breast amputation. For someone else It didn’t bother me, but the beauty was gone, and now it concerned my own body! My beasts had always been my pride. I could enjoy the feeling of their soft curves. And now I had to miss one breast. The surgeon presented me with four different operations I could choose from. The choice I wanted was not an option though, whatever choice I would make I would lose my own familiar breast. How can you make a choice when deep inside your heart you don’t want any of these choices? When I realized once again that when an internal prosthesis would be applied I always would walk with “a strange and cold thing” in my chest with all risks involved, this choice fell off. In the end I chose for a reconstruction from my own tissue where a large muscle from my back would be folded forward and would form my breast. My new breast would become a little bit smaller, but it was my own tissue and I would remain my décolleté. Furthermore, fat from my back would be sucked away to make my breast as big as possible. This operation was less intrusive than a full reconstruction from my own tissue. With full confidence I went into the operation and I felt supported by everyone who loved me and everyone that was around me. However, I remained doubtful until the last minute about the profound choice I had made, even though I had compared all cons and pros with each other and I had taken a well deliberate decision.

During the operation and the period of 6 weeks that followed, it felt like I was being carried. I was surrounded by a warm blanked of friends, family, relatives and angels and I was so relieved that I was freed from the tumor. There was a moment where I thought “what if I had made the decision for the operation earlier.” But in that case, I wouldn’t have had the experience I’ve now. I did it my way and as far as was possible I listened to what I wanted.

Now I want to get used to my new body, my chest and my back that do not feel like mine anymore. In addition, again I lost confidence in my body and I also need time now to rebuild confidence in my body for the future.

Fortunately, the assessment of the tumor concluded that this tumor was a new one and had nothing to do with the previous one.

I am thankful that I’m doing well and that I may continue to enjoy life on Earth including all ups and downs that belong to this. If I’ve learned something over the last two years, my desire to death is as great as my desire to live and, the fear to live is as large as my fear to die. If I dare to live with complete surrender to everything that comes my way, then I really live, and that’s what I’m learning now.